My Grandma (Mom's Mom) passed away in Ontario. Trying to jog mind of what day....Been back two weeks. No one could go with my Mom. So I offered. So happy my siblings didn't have to endure that. It was horrific.
Mom drank, and drank and drank. It was bad. bad and worse.
Highlight - for the very first time in my life, she acknowledged to myself and her family the impact her alcoholism has had on me. She apologized. Promised to try.
I know it was hollow, but somehow, being validated actually made me feel like some of the weight came off my shoulders.
Have been really sick. Just the week before I had to leave for Ontario, had a scary episode of some numbness. It was in my hands, feet then got intense and went up my neck into my face. Hospital said likely MS or Fibromalagyia (sp?). Bastards - they scared the living hell out of me! Went to Dr. day just before leaving for Ontario. She wasn't convinced. Felt a bit better. She still wasn't sure what it was. Actually felt fairly well during my trip - amazing considering I spent all day every day in a tiny apartment with chain smokers. Go figure.
Came back. Had panick attacks about going back to work. Really having a hard time pretending to care about absolutely any of it. Would prefer to stick head in oven and turn on gas. Shit - no gas stove. Oh well. Back to work it is.
Still hate work. Had heart problems and pain after 1st week back. I theenk this place is bad for my he-aaaalth. Time to dust up the resume.
Went to bridal show after spending previous day in hospital. Not good. And far too many pregnant brides. Happy to see majority had hair brushed at this show (and note to the butch dread lock 'Brides': Your look is not working for you. Chop it off, wash it and shave your arm pits.)
Got told by Doctor I am too stressed out. Thinks I am having some kind of synaptic impulse challenge. Boo Hoo. and here I thought all my internalizing meant I was strong and handling all the crap life has been dealing out.
Got 100 emails on my computer at work.
Got 50 emails on my computer at home.
Lost internet connection until today at home. No time to read all the email at work.
Hate the person that invented email. How did we survive before? How did we launch 100 initiatives in a week?
Personal win - pushed my boss back and won some extra payroll! (Yayy!)
Extra points because - he didn't hold his usual grudge for the upward challenge
Reading funny book - almost done "The devil wears Prada". Think I should write a book about my boss. "El Diablo wear crooked Toupee".
Dad gave me a book. Found out something funny about him while I was away reading his book. He writes his name and the date he starts and finishes a book on the inside cover. Made me love him that much more.
Spent lot's of time with my niece lately. She is what makes me hang in there every day. I just keep thinking I have to keep it together and be a role model for her. So happy her parents made her. She's beyond beautiful. Love to the Vivi.
My sister is moving 10 minutes away. I am sooooooo happpppy!!!!!! This is going to be good. And now I can help her out a bit. And of course see my precious. We are practically going to be neighbours. Too bad I have to work. I'd rather play over at my sister's every day.
Got a copy of a picture I saw on my aunt's wall. It's of me, my baby bro and her two daughters. It was a very happy time in my life, when my entire family was close. A total treasure.
And i think that is the skinniest my legs have ever been. :)
Gotta love the similarity! My neice looks more like her
Aunt and Uncle than her own parents. I wish I could take credit for cloning her.
