New Nephew and Sad Memories

Yay...I finally met my new nephew!!! He's so beautiful! He has this perfect little round head and expressive face. I just melted when I finally got to hold him. Whatevery circumstances that brought him along into our lives - worth it.

My bro and his girlfriend 'T' were having some tough times when he found out he was going to be a Dad...so it's been a challenge for him. I think he's doing really well though. He really is a natural at it.


My siblings, their two offspring, Big J, 'T' and I went to my Dad's for dinner yesterday. The drive there really made me feel sad. It reminded me of how pissed I was at my parents for a long time. My bro's girlfriend hitched a ride with Big J and I out there. She wanted to know more about my Dad, and why Spiff is the way he is. It's so hard to unearth our shitty childhood. Is there shittier out there? Yeah. But I look at how beautiful my brother and sister were when they were little, and see the damage done to them and it just breaks my heart.

I always get pissed at my family for saying 'poor Spiff' and telling me that my sister and I never had it as bad as him. It enrages me because we really did. My sister went through personal hell with our step dad, that my mother buried for most of our lives. I went through shit...I mean it was all bad. I tried to help Jeff, but he was just constantly self absorbed and more into being a fuck up that facing responsibility. That put a pretty major rift in our relationship. But Spiff and I were so close when we were little. I would beg them to hit me and spare him when my parents were on a beatin' spree. Where did it all go wrong? I have to say I still blame my Dad.


Talking to T about it yesterday really dredged up all my anger about the whole thing. Then we were pulling out pictures from when we were little. It was so cool to see them, but as I was looking at our little faces, I knew those were some of the most painful times of our lives. It was kind of surreal. There were some pictures that Patty offered that I could take and copy. I just couldn't do it. Those times and experiences should stay where they are. Buried.

Somethings are just too painful to rehash.

Thinking about that and sobbing away isn't something I want to make a habit of..

>^..^<

Duran Duran = SwAg - Yippee!!!

So I finally lived out my life long dream. Well not life long exactly - I was born in the 70's and hatched the dream in the 80's. But it was a very ENOURMOUS dream nonetheless.

I finally got to see my favourite all time band in concert. AND IT ROCKED!!! It was so exciting. I went. I had the best tasting hot dog I've ever had in my life. I drank a lovely tasting beer. I bought a great deal of concert swag (Not one - but TWO tee's and some other product) and I danced my freakin ass off!

I actually participated in a radio contest trying to get better tickets...which leads to a funny story that I will relate another time...

The concert was really good. Wish I had seen them in their heyday, but it was entertaining nonetheless. I thought they were coasting a bit - not a great deal of energy except from Simon. I used to be in love with John (just like every boys girlfriend in the 80's) but I have to say - he didn't play up to the audience much. Kind of a dissapointment. It was cool that all the original members were there though.

It was fun to sing and dance to all the faves. I have to say it was tops for me, just because I had dreamed about it so repeadtedly in my teams. Many a sweaty dream was based around going to a D2 concert....I won't go there. Some things should stay repressed.

I have seen some good concerts in the past few years...but the top two on sheer entertainment value are Ricky Martin and Garth Brooks. They both put on quite the production.

The Peppers and Metallica were next. I have to say that the opening bands for both were extremely brutal. Why do they bother????? Let's just have the band. Maybe some big beach balls and some dancers...1/2 price drinks. I mean - it doesn't take a bunch of half asses crappy musicians to make the crowd happenin. In fact, we were pretty happenin at the Peppers concert - and that was just the 2nd hand smoke.

I really have to mention the demographics at the D2 concert. It was pretty much middle aged girl, middle aged boy....and when they were singing you could look around the concert bowl and see: dancin, sitting, dancing, sitting.

I'm a meanie though. I made Big J stand. He didn't have to dance, but he had to stand with me. He had this cute blonde 40 yr old on the other side of him in a pink leather 'Barbie' jacket. She was just a groovin! and let me tell you - this sister was devestated when they took their break. She thought they were done was freakin out that they hadn't played 'Girls on Film'.

I talked her down, they came back and played it. All was well. You don't want to be pissin off the middle aged women. I've learned that working at my day job. If nothing else, I've learned that. =)

Now I need to go choose the concert tee to wear to bed, so if you'll excuse me...


>^..^<