HOLY TOLEDO - Continued...

Well - I've been a busy girl. BUT I HAVE GOT TO GET THIS STORY OUT!!! Here is the continuation. I am not sure I can do it true justice, as a lot of time has passed. I'll try though.

CREEPY COMES TO VISIT


So my stepdad (whom I refer to as Dad) brought his new girlfriend / fiance up to visit my sister and I....Blah, blah, blah. She was weird, creepy, needy, difficult and rude with a capital R!!!

Unfortunately - I just don't do rude. Can't stand it. Can't ignore it. Can't handle it.

So, as you can imagine, that made the weekend fun!!!

So, they started off at my sister's, and then they came out to stay at my place. They decided to bring Corie out here first so we could have pizza, and spend some time together. It was very foggy and dark out. Extremely limited visability, and the roads were icy. I'm not in the city, and you gotta pay attention to the landmarks so you know where to turn to get here.

Let's just say the girlfriend / fiance (we'll call her 'Libby') had an absolute meltdown in the car on the way here. She was completely freaked out about driving in the city, then she was freaked out about driving outside the city and finally the fog was just so not helping.

Once they arrived, I hauled Beaze into her kennel so she wouldn't eat the guests. (In hindsight, maybe that wasn't the course of action to take.) I didn't know about the meltdown at this point. I didn't even hear about it until the next day. I suspect Cor was trying desperately to figure out how to break it to me gently ("Lee, our Dad is marrying an escapee from Ponoka" ). So my sister came in the house but my Dad and 'Libby' stayed outside. Wouldn't they come in and say 'Hi'. This trip was about introducing her to us for crying out loud. I thought that was extremely rude, but hey...I was trying to stay somewhat relaxed. Dad and the gf/f both smoke, so I assumed that was what they were up to, and I let it go.

Then once they came in, 'Libby' was completely unsociable!!! She wouldn't even make eye contact, didn't say hello. Hmmm...At this point, my spidey senses began to tingle... So I walked up to her, all smiley and friendly (read: fake) and welcomed her and stuck out my hand. She just looked down at it. So I thrust it forward again, and she finally shook it.

Honestly, my first glance of her really didn't do anything to settle my nerves. She looked like what your average slacker heavy set 15 year old would - if they went to bed and miraculously aged 25 years over night. Think: schleppy, 'try hard'. And she was lookin pretty worn. She had red hair, a nose ring (seriously now!) and instead of sitting in the empty chair, or on the couch - she decides to sit on top of my Dad in the arm chair.

There's a saying my husband uses that I think applies here: "Ridden hard, put away wet."

(By this point - I'm pretty certain that we are dealing with a total loser here.)

There was a great deal of sniffling and shivering from 'Libby'. Big 'J' and I were slow on the uptake and didn't realise what the issue was, we thought the woman just had a cold. Then she was wispering to my Dad and I caught the words...'don't they turn the heat up'. So, why would she just ask us to turn the heat up, I mean a polite request is acceptable. Or ask for a blanket? Why the whispering? And it's not like we live in an igloo, the temperature in the house was 21 degrees celsius. Virtually a sauna if you're my husband. So I got the girl a throw, turned the heat up a bit more, made some tea. And the whole shivering drama continued. Then something else happened, and she was sniffling and tearing a bit...still didn't think anything of it. Then Dad took Cor home, and we were left with her. She had by this point had one crying jag. I really didn't want to be left alone with her at this point. I was starting to figure out that she wasn't 100% on the ball. Jer and I went and checked our email in the other room, then we went to bed. I was just hoping that he would remember to lock the door.

So the next morning, I have to go to work. Big J decides to drive me. BIG MISTAKE.

As he's backing the vehicle out, he forgets that Dad's parked behind our other vehicle. He turns too soon and clips Dad's car. OH.MY.GOD.

That made for an extremely interesting trip to work. (I think even Big J would have to agree that I showed miraculous restraint!) My internal mantra: It was an accident. It was foggy out. It was an accident. Don't get bent. It was an accident. You love this man....

By the way, that bonehead manuever was an extremely familiar one. Big J and his dad pull stuff like that off all the time. Drives me nuts. But I love him - and married him knowing he's a big clutz. So, how surprised could I really be?

Anyway, he got to tell Dad. Dad took it extremely well. He had to stay home with them. Then they went shopping. He calls me at work, and is just flabbergasted by 'Libby's' behaviour. She'd had a few crying jags again... Plus he's pretty sure she was walking around naked with her robe open when he had come back from driving me to work. The one time he will be thankful for his glasses fogging up when he comes inside! Plus: She was popping Lithium like there was no tomorrow.

So I get home, and they turn up. They had went shopping. Libby tries on her new bras, which she salaciously keeps discussing in front of us all. Then Dad is conversing at the kitchen table with us, and she completely freaks out!!! She just went postal that we weren't paying her any attention, and didn't he care about her bra dilemma - then she just went into full on dramatic sobbing.

Ugh. I hate high maintenance women at the best of times. But one who has just gone on about her hooters for the past half hour, and how bras poke her arms and then delivers a full on postal freak out when nobody pays attention to her, and are acting like they don't care...(Psssst!!!!NO ONE CARES. IT'S NOT ACTING).

At this point I just wanted to vomit. Then there were two more jags before we left.

The worst part - we were committed to going to dinner with them that night. So was Cor and her husband.

As I've said before, I'm an anal retentive control freak. Especially in new or challenging situations. Can you imagine how much I wanted to crawl out of my skin at the thought of going out in public with this crazy compulsive twit of a woman?


So we go out. Dad tries to speed. I politely ask him to knock it off (it's extremely icy, and I don't want the blubbermaster to begin blubbering in the vehicle on us). What does she do? She demands that he drive faster!!! Not only that, she begs him to weave in and out of traffic!!! Uh HELLO?! WHICH PERSONALITY ARE WE DEALING WITH HERE? And can we be any more RUDE? So he decided that to make whacky happy, he'll rev the engine as a compromise. Seriously - What a gong show.


Eventually we end up at the Moxie's restaurant by the Calgary airport. (With our lives intact, no thanks to the blubbermaster) If you've never been to this particular location, I would highly recomment that you don't bother. So many things wrong - where to begin.

We end up waiting 1.5 hours for a table. (We were told 20 mins). Then we get sat at this table by two big fireplaces in the middle of the room. No grating on them, and there is actually sweat pouring off the wait staff in the area. 5 of us ask them to turn it down, and the waitress is so grateful! She says it's horrible, but they are only allowed to turn it down if a guest requests. Well, who pipes up and says it's perfect - miss Libby. Then after our dinner in this ritzy place (really, it was pretty swanky for a Moxie's) - she announces " time to pay for diiner", and get down on her knees and goes under the table. Dad thinks this is hilarious.

OH. MY. FREAKIN. GOD.
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE OF EMBARRASMENT.

Cor (gotta love her) stands right up and puts her coat on. Dad's like "Where are you going?". She's all, "Home." and keeps going. Yay for her!

When Libby was under the table I looked at Dad and mouthed 'Seriously?! What the hell is that? Rude!"

Obviously for her, it's an everyday occurance. I don't doubt it. But she was very pissy that we didn't think she was funny. Girlfriend needs a reality check.

We go home, more drama on the way.....

More crying at home....(but none in the car oddly enough)

Then J works the next day. I am left alone with them. Trying to get Cor to speed up her routine so we could go out for breakfast ASAP. Libby starts questioning me about trying to have a baby. I think ' Lady, I don't even discuss this with people I like). Then I realize what she's up to. Trying to get through my wall so she can manipulate me. She's all about the manipulation this one. Of course, she's all about Lithium too. For obvious reasons.

Anyway, to speed up this train wreck, we go and have breakfast. 'Libby' lips off my sister (she seems to enjoy doing this to her) and then when we go, she hugs me! Where on earth did she think we had made that connection?

Seriously, I HATED this woman. (So did Cor, and she loves everyone to death.)

I can't imagine ever having to spend 5 minutes with this whack job again.


This just goes to show you:

• one can not get engaged four months into meeting someone
• some people should never breed (did I mention she has 3 off spring and homeschools her youngest. Tell me that is ever about him and his education)
• when you meet a new addition to your family - they should stay in a motel
• creepy middle aged women with nose rings are definately not right in the head.