Holy Toldedo - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!

NO TOLERANCE

Oh. My. Word. No,Seriously, what the hell was that?! I just had the complete weekend from hell. I don't know where to start. I don't even know if I will ever be over it. I am completely dumbfounded. Gobsmacked. Googled.

It really started on Thursday. Indirectly. That's when I heard there was a 'mutiny' in the works, and had to really jump into leader role. So I obsessed and stressed out about it for about 12 hours or so, lost a bunch of sleep, and went into work Friday and kicked some butt.

Seriously, sometimes people need to be on board - or get off the freakin' buss. So, that was the speech. Of course I illustrated it with more flair and sublety, but that was the gist. It worked though. I walked away from that experience learning quite a bit. I actually got to deal with three issues that have been simmering away on the back burner for months... and it felt gooood.

On my way home, I was all but Hi-5'n myself as I relayed the scene out for my husband. I was completely ecstatic. Gleeful. Fullfilled.

Then my step dad brought the new girlfriend to reek havoc upon me, and destroy all the joy I had in me. Man - she is a headcase at large.

I am anal retentive. Control Freak. Yep, it can be annoying to those around me. Not about everything - but the more unfamiliar the situation, then the more methodical my approach. Caution is the word. There is one failing that I can not seem to overcome - and it's not dealing with difficult people. I fixed that (going to eat...rant to be continued later. But not too much later. A sister has to vent!)

HALLELUJAH!!!

BIG BIG NEWS - I GOT THE PROMOTION!!!

Finally, it's all about everyone else doing the work, and me leaving early. Hahaha. So not me.

I am now the GM of my little piece of Home decor store heaven. It feels good! And scary! And Comfortable!

It's very strange to feel all these things at the same time. We'll see how it all goes. I think I will be channeling Markus in no time. It's all a different perspective when it's your building. Now I finally get that. (He knew I would)

YIPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

THE LONG GOODBYE

Markus, my boss left for T.O. today. The bastard got himself promoted.

I've known it was coming for months. It was either that or he was going to take something elsewhere.

It's pretty bittersweet for me.

On one hand, I am completely stoked for him. He can run circles around the majority of the managers in my company. He will bring a level of straight forwardness, and intelligent planning to upper management that will be excellent for the company. There's a lot of what people call inbreeding in my current company, and I think he will offer a fresh point of view. He is a visionary and it's great knowing there is someone who thinks like me, influencing the people who in turn influence the things that affect me.

On the other hand. I'll miss him. And it stinks.

When I first met him, I was a brand new manager. He is such a cocky, charismatic, sarcastic guy - I just didn't know what to think! I was all black and white, warm fuzzy HR oriented and he was a totally black hearted bastard. I was all about communication and he was all about - read between my lines.

Seriously, I was so freaked out, that I was planning how I could get another management job so early in my transition. I never believed that he and I would hit it off. As it turned out, we balanced each other very well! He promoted my ass twice in the two years I worked with him. After the second promotion, they decided that I should move to a different store in our city, get some experience under a different manager.

Once I moved stores, I worked for a broad that was a supremely crazy sex freak. I have nothing favourable to say about the experience I had working with her. It felt like the second longest stretch of my career with them and it was only a couple months!!! Let's just say, I was completely ECSTATIC when I found out she was moving. So excited that I would no longer have to see her 40+ year old wrinkly self with her daisy duke cargos and her 'one size too small' uniform tee with the 'cleavage up to her eyeballs' busting out of it. Bleuchhhhhhhh. Yeah...she was "attractive". I especially like the way she was extremely over-tanned and the way it emphasized her wrinkles. Nice. And her stories were so charming....Unfortunately, one can only be regaled by middle-aged partner swapping stories and sex swings very few times in their life.

in fact, it should never EVER have to happen to anyone at all. So she left, and I got a GM that was the polar opposite of Markus. At this point, I knew things at Staples were going down hill. Then I heard Markus left for the Home Decor world. And I knew that too was where I would be happy - so I followed him to his store. And I am so indeedy a happier girl to this day!!!

T.O. however, is a bit too far to follow him again. So that is sooooo not going to be a repeat episode.


At his going away party, I cried on him for the fourth time in our career together. I will miss that cocky little shit dearly. And he said the nicest thing to me, that I always want to control everything and take over the world. Now who else is going to know me like that and be that cool with it?

He was simply the cats ass.

*Sometimes he was just an ass, but I wouldn't have it any other way.


AND YOUR WEATHER UPDATE FOR THE WEEK...

The Beaz is seriously going wonky. This in turn is driving the cats wonky. which in turn is driving me...well, you get the jist.

I have heard it's supposed to warm up this week. Someone told me it will be in the POSITIVE, yeah that's right POSITIVE degree mark tomorrow. Ahhhhh. Finally we can stop wearing flannel, sock and two pair of sweats in bed.

Damn. This means I'm going to shave my legs. That's scary, considering how long it's been too freakin' cold to take all the layers of clothing off. I don't even know what my legs look like anymore. It just might take a shwack of bics to do the job. ;)

The poor dog is getting constipated from the lack of running around outside. She's such a princess, she can't bear to have her feet cold and begs to come in like, two seconds after we thrust her out the door! Big J wants to buy her booties. I dunno. I think even the coyotes will laugh at her.

Booties. We seriously need to have a baby. I think we're getting a bit demented.

DURAN DURAN. FINALLY MY TEENAGE-LONG DREAM IS REALIZED.

Yep. I was an 80's girl. Who am I kidding - I still am an 80's girl. If '16 Candles' comes on, and you know who 'Ducky' is, you are so from the era of big hair, big dangly earrings and let us not forget shoulder pads that would protect a professional wrestler from harm.

The 80's were like a bright pastel beacon of over indulgence. We wore too much make up, we used to much hair spray (sorry about that ozone guys!) and we couldn't layer enough clothing on our bodies at one time. No wonder the lycra micro-miniskirt came out of the 90's. We were over compensating. We were trying to cool off after all those leg warmers and over sized tee's.

I can't wait till the concert in March. I am kind'a obsessing about it. Fairly embarrassing for a 31 year old woman. I barely mention my love of all things Duran and big hair metal bands to others. People look at you like you are some kind of social pariah. They just can't believe it. Not until they see that big hair picture that is. Ahhhh, then it all starts to make sense.

Like they never thought John Taylor was so genetically pleasing that they would love to have their way with them. Please - even straight men were freaked out by how pretty he was. And he was pretty. Not in a feminine way mind you. Well, maybe a bit. When a fellow is that into his hair, make-up and fashion - it's a bit girlie. But put the boy in a suit, that square jaw, sexy crinkly eyes. It was all yummy.

Then the cocaine happened. Not even I could support them anymore. The crazy MTV concert in the red suit, where he was so wrecked he was nearly falling off the stage. Very, very sad. I was so disappointed. My boyfriend at the time (Now husband) felt sooooo entirely vindicated. He just looked at me so smugly, as if to say "That's what all the fuss is about?!". Ah John. After all I had endured sticking by you and the band. Bravely admitting my love for everything D2. Flogging request and request and poem and Limerick to the Radio station to gain airplay in my town. Befriending dirty, lecherous DJ's, just to get the favour of keeping the boys on the top 10 at 10, or 6 at 6.

Seriously. After the MTV incident - even I knew they were falling apart at the seams. I also knew that my beloved 80's had passed me by. Sniff.


So here we are, in the 2k's. The original band is back together. THE ORIGINAL BAND!!! They are fairly, so far as I can determine, sober. Straight enough to perform I believe. AND. I.AM.GOING.TO.THEIR.SHOW. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


I AM SOOOOO VERY EXCITED!!!

You don't understand what this means to me. They came once when I was 15 or so. Back then they had this nasty habit of playing Edmonton and never coming to Calgary. I begged my Mom to let me travel to Edmonton with my girlfriend on the Greyhound. I outlined an itinery, I gathered prices and a plan for funds. We would go to the concert and take the bus back home to our city at midnight. It would all be good. I could be trusted. After all I was raising her and my brother and sister. But no. She would not budge. After all the crap she got up to, and I don't mean as a teenager either. She stood firm. I must have been too enthusiastic. She must have known that there really would have been no stopping me if I got there. I was obsessed, and pretty used to getting my way with everyone. Never one to take no for an answer. Determined. I didn't tell her, but I was going to do whatever it took to meet the band. I didn't have to tell her. She had heard the rantings and a myriad of perverse things come out of me. It just wasn't going to happen, no matter of pristine behaviour on my behalf could make it happen. And I didn't have the internet back then. Had I, I would have sent email after email demanding they come to my city.

But man did I mope over it. and I believed until the saddest day of my life (the day of the concert) that some miracle was going to happen. I kept insisting that they were going to surprise me. Ugh, believe me, I was a complete pain in the ass about it. Nothing like a hormonal teenage girl to drive you completely batty. I promised my first born, but it didn't work. Nothing worked.

Now, I finally have my chance.


I'm so going. And I called Mom. I told her she can't stop me. I was adamant. This time - it's all going down.

I am so pumped that I'm going to buy the Tee, the hat, the bandanna, the keychain, the waterbottle, the mousepad, the earrings, the jacket, the thong, the coffee cup and even the apron if they have it. If it's not nailed down, I'm buying it. After all, you don't get many chances to have an do-over on your teenage days. And bonus - this time round I can drink too!

Hahaha. Like that would have stopped the Tequila Queen at 15. I think NOT.

And the only person I had to promise to sleep with for the experience is Big J. >^..^<

CHRISTMAS IS OVER - THE SPENDING HANGOVER BEGINS!!!

RETAIL IS HELL. NO REALLY, IT IS.

Middle-aged women are dangerous at Christmas. Don't mess with them. They will chew you up and spit you out. They will eat their first born for a bargain. There is no reasoning with them. Look into their eyes - see the dilated pupils? Yep. It's Christmas Shoppers Euphoria. When these addicts come down. They come down HARD. The only thing worse than dealing with the middle aged female shopper at Christmas - is facing her in January. She comes in with a vengeance, making all manner of unreasonable demands. She will not take no for an answer. She is here to make a point, and you are in trouble for taking advantage of her at her weakest moment, her Christmas Spending Rapture.


Here's the thing: I changed the retail establishment I worked in to acquire a change of pace, and gain back some sanity. Home Décor = Middle age ladies, less intensity and a certain calmness prevails over the building. Staples = Predominantly male customer base, intense interactions and an extremely chaotic environment to work in. Working for a retailer that sells electronics is one of the lower circles of retail hell.


Overall, Home Décor is a great piece of Retail to work in. I adore our middle age female customer base. They are great to work with, and the experience is quite satisfactory over all. Now we get to the raison d'être for this blog:





THE COLD IS MAKING THEM BONKERS...


It's been extrememly cold here for a very long time. We had an exceptionally mild fall, and suddenly around Christmas the weather gods woke up and put an end to it all. This Saturday just passed, it was very cold out: -25 c with a -35 c wind-chill factor. The roads were terrible. On my way to work, I thought no one would be venturing out in this on their days off. Why leave the house if you don't have to? Who wants to drive in that? We have had too many days of roads you can't go over 60 km on, well unless you are driving a 4x4. Then you are completely indestructible and can freely continue on at your regular speed of 160 km, which you maintain regardless of the regulatory speed posted.

My point is, that the roads are also making the people crazy. Snares, cranky and crazy like looms.




SO TOTALLY NOT RELEVANT TO THE SITUATION: SEARS AND SECURITY

So I am standing at the front of the store, watching the interactions at the tills and ensuring everyone is happy and the service is up to par. Each of the tills is lined up four customers deep or more. Then I notice her. The lady with the frizzy red hair, beginning to elevate her voice at the cashier. I come over and receive a grateful look from the cashier. She explains the situation, I reiterate what she has explained and the lady (term loosely used) goes ballistic! Then, instead of addressing myself, she continues screaming at the top of her lungs and berating the poor cashier. What abominable behavior! Obviously she's a bit of a power monger. Pick on the little guy. At this point, I am just completely disgusted with her, and empathy goes out the window. I'm sorry ma'am, but you can not get a refund without your original receipt. No, your credit card payment slips from the till will not suffice. No, it is not enough to prove that you are a customer. Without an original transaction, the till will only give us the option of store credit for your return. I'm sorry you feel that is bullshit. I assure you that it is in fact true. I understand you don't believe me but a fact is a fact. No, we can not look up all your transactions with our companies on the till. I am happy to hear you worked for Sears, that is not actually relevant to this issue. That's wonderful that you could look up any credit card and it's transaction through the till there. I only wish we also had that feature but we don't. Well, you may not believe it but that is in fact true. (Why oh why do these snarkalicious customers insist on telling us how our tills work? What is with that? Hey, just because you say it, doesn't mean it's true. If the cashiers could look that all up, there's no end to the Losses and charges that would ensue. Talk about not protecting your customers!) Yes, I understand that you have driven in -25 c temperatures to get here. No we are not calling you a thief. Listen, no one has called you a thief nor would we. I am sorry you feel that we are embarrassing you in front of these customers. Okay, so you worked in security, I don't see how that is relevant. (More screaming at the top of her lungs, as I spoke discreetly, but very firmly) LOOK. NO ONE IS CALLING YOU A THIEF. AT ALL. MY CASHIER WAS SIMPLY POLITELY STATING THE RETURN POLICY, WHICH IS CLEARLY STATED ON THE BACK OF YOUR RECEIPT YOU ORIGINALLY OBTAINED. IT IS ALSO STATED AT EVERY TILL. YOU MUST HAVE YOUR ORIGINAL RECEIPT FOR A REFUND.

Blah, Blah, Blah... it went on and on endlessly. Until she finally apologized, accepted that it just wasn't going to happen and we finally got her out the door.

What a witch. My poor cashier was going to cry her eyes out. And she had actually rattled me somewhat! I am cool as a cucumber in these situations. People always remark and how it's amazing that I keep it together, and resolve the situation favourable. But this was the third completely unreasonable person in the last two hours. And she was so completely rude. I just lost it with her.





LET'S USE OUR INDOOR VOICES...

Let that be a lesson to us all. If the weather is so inclement that you are going to go over the edge when you get to your retail destination: STAY HOME. WE WON'T MISS YOU.

Most companies have a specific return period. Some, like mine, do not. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT. COME WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT. AND YOU ARE WILLING TO BEHAVE YOURSELF IN PUBLIC.

If you are feeling like having a battle, don't take it out on the cashiers. Once the manager is involved save your communication for them. Cashiers and Sales associates do not make policies. Rarely are they in charge of their own destiny with the company, never mind your own. USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE.

DON'T SWEAR. IT'S THE HEIGHT OF RUDENESS. And it really pisses me off. But I can't tell you that because I am at work (the environment of which you are currently making hostile...) and you are in public where other customers and children can hear you.


Read the return policies of the stores you shop at. If you don't like them, then DON'T BLEEDING SHOP THERE!

DON'T TELL SHOP PEOPLE WHAT THEIR TILLS CAN DO. You will invariably sound like a complete lunatic. They will laugh at you once you leave. People in line will join them. Trust me, it happens.


And the top lesson for all your crankmeisters I have seen in the past week or so:

Keep your original receipt always. Ensure it is put into your hands always. If you are handed a stack, ensure it's in there. OTHERWISE, SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE AND FOREVER HOLD YOUR PIECE.


>^..^<


Well, it wasn't the release I got fom the first draught, and not as funny but it's a post. And there's still some satisfaction in airing that abominable woman's atrocious behaviour in my blog. That is a good thing.

I. AM. HEARTBROKEN.

Okay. This is why I haven't been writing on this thing. I just spent a freaking hour pouring my heart out on this blog, and when I went to post - my connection was lost and everything went bye-bye. Posts will continue to be scarce until spring hits. I hate our wireless internet.

Let's see if I can remember what I posted...

Actually, it was really good stuff! I am too crushed to try and retype it right now. Big J said "Well you should copy it into word first". I almost bit his head off. Nobody wants to hear that after they just spent an hour or more venting their heart and soul into their blog. That's just a wrong time to tell a girl "You shoulda.." Grrrrrrr.

We'll see if I can get back into the spirit. I could really cry!